Pixie.. me!

Yesss! I finally got my hair cut just the way I wanted. Pixie cut. Very short but not boyish-like.
The last time I got my hair cut (supposedly the pixie cut) was less than a month a go. I wanted the pixie cut.. I even brought a picture of one of the models with the type of style. But, the hair stylist didn't know how to cut it that way although she looked as though she knew how to. So instead, I got just a normal short hair. Hrmmphh...

I went out with one of my best friends, Liyana (penang) not cousin. I have two Liyanas in my life. Both means the world to me. Anyhoo, we planned to have breakfast together but instead, we extended the day by going to Sunway Pyramid. That was when I decided to get my hair cut by a professional from A Cut Above. The whole cut, wash and blow costs me RM110. Definitely worth every ringgit. Yes, I spent that amount of money for a hair cut. But the end satisfaction is worth it!

Later Liyana bought a pair of sandals. Pretty indeed. :) And my usual cat food also, we bought us Takos. She bought the octopus and I bought chicken and cheese. Definitely a delicacy!

It does feel a huge relief when you see people seldomly and get to talk a lot of what had been happening since we last met.

Anyway, I love my hair. I know that some may ask "what's the point of styling your hair when in the end you cover it back?" The self satisfaction is more important than trying to satisfy others..

:-)

something

I wish you had a clue;

what I am going through..

The pain, the sufferings and the highs and lows;

I think of you everyday with my eyes closed.

I wish that you would appear in my thoughts;

but instead, it is filled with haunts..

When will it dissappear?

How long will my eyes remain in tears?

Even the direct questions remains unanswered

as nobody but God has the knowledge of the dead..

- Tengku Elena

glad it's over.. :-)

Phew today was a very tiring and hectic day for my family and I. All were very busy helping around to prepare our subsequent Raya openhouse.

Millions of apologies to those who were not invited but heard about it from someone before the event or just heard about it from this blog. As this year, we catered for 300 people and my dad's guests reached 200 people and my brother wanted to invite 50 people so the remaining balance were split into two - me and my sister's friends. So you know, having to pick 25 people from my high school, university (diploma & degree), cousins (semestinya ada) and old friends from other places was very tough! So yeah... it took me quite some time to hand pick those people and yes, I did have some sleepless nights. If you know me well, I think too much.
(This is for those who weren't invited.. If ada orang baca lah... but I doubt that. My regular and only reader is probably you, Min. Hehe) I didn't mean to not tell you.. but I just had to do so.

Well thank goodness this year my stepmum decided that we should call the caterers instead. But of course, my maid and the other neighbours' maid were around to give a hand. I think they worked double as hard as the waiter and waitress given by the caterer. The caterers were an hour late because they got lost. I think they were from Damansara or KL.. Can't remember. Thank goodness though the food was good.
Menu of the day was: Nasi briyani, ayam goreng, rendang Tok, ABC, home made laksa and nasi dagang as well as 2 lambs.

Thank you to Min, Kak Fatimah, Liyana, Kak Ida, Mai, Qila, Shera, Pudean, Nana, Een, Nik, Nol, Bada, Mirul, Zulmajd, Min's brother+wife+Rayyan for coming.. Only 18 came out of 25 (actually I invited a bit more than that cause I'm pretty sure some people have their own agendas - for instance, Life & Times editor Suraya Al-Attas <- she did say that she had other openhouse but she'll try to make it through.. I didn't expect her to really come cause I know that she has a very hectic schedule).

I am a bit upset who couldn't come.. Who did text me that they had other plans, thank you for the prior notice.. but those who didn't say a word, gosh... not to blame the person or anything but, the limited invitation could've been given to someone else.. I did have a split decision whether to invite my old friends from high school. Instead, I dropped them and invited my uni friends.. Hmmm....

But all and all, everything went well. My relatives and dad's friends were also present.. Even the guy who sells my dad golf sticks! Yes, my dad invited probably all of the people inside his phone memory. Including the guy who sells his glasses.. hehe. Yeah, that's my dad.. he's totally generous and kind.

Well, that's about it... I'm happy everything went well and that my cats were the center of attention as well. Haha.

I've watched it!

Yes, like I mentioned in the previous post, I wanted to watch HSM 3: Senior Year on the 24th. And, today is the 24th. I did exagerate when I said I wanted to be the first in line to watch the movie today.. BUT I was one of the first who watched it at Cineleisure. The first show was at 12.50pm and I was there with Min (haha) at 12pm. Woohoo!

I know for those who enjoy serious movies, they wouldn't accept the movie probably at all. It's more for those 'young in heart' type of adults. For children, of course they would love the movie. I watched HSM 1 and 2 so therefore, being able to see the very end of the 'story' really made me happy and of course sad and touched. Cause, I won't have any movies to look forward to anymore! (Apart from Harry Potter of course). I felt the same way when Lord of the Rings ended. No more Orlando Bloom... damn..

I won't dish out what the story is about.. what happened and all that.. But to keep you from not going to watch it is that the choreography, songs and plots are superb! I love it! Zac of course, looks adorable. And Vanessa as well. Sharpay was still Sharpay... Pinky, bossy.. There are new characters as well. But not main ones of course.

I love their props when they rehearsed for their last theatre. Very classy indeed. The songs, like the previous movies, are catchy and some slow... it just makes your heart melt when Troy (Zac) and Gabriella (Vanessa) sings together... It makes me think 'Gosh I wish I had the talent. And wish that Min was Troy and I was Gabriella.' Haha.

To be honest, I did wanted to weep a bit. I know, I know it sounds silly but, trust me.. You really have to focus the movie and let the story carry your heart.. Then you'll get all emotional about it.

Oh speaking of Min, I'm not totally sure if he enjoyed it but, he did hum some of the previous HSM songs on the way back. So I guess he did enjoy it quite a bit. Hehe. When he turned the radio on on our way back, they played one of the latest HSM song! I shrieked a bit. Yes, I am very young in heart.

What to expect from the movie? Just watch it... It's their very last movie... they've graduated... No more wildcats... Gabriella goes to Uni... Troy had a hard decision where to study.. his dad wanted him to go to UA, but his theatre teacher wanted him to go to Julliard.. It was their last theatre together.... and all that... Everything ends...

I'll definitely give it 8.5 over 10. The reason I deducted 1.5 is because there won't be anymore HSM!! Noooooooooooooooooooo


:)

can u feel it?

Have you ever lost someone that you cherish the most? Your mother or father? Any of your siblings? Your grandma or grandpa? Or perhaps any of your partners or friends?

If no, how sure are you that God woudn't take them away from you in a minute... an hour.. or later on today? Think about it...

I've witnessed three deaths in my life... yes, three... My mother passed away in 1998 due to brain haemorrhage while we were living in Hong Kong.. followed by my stepmum who passed away in 2002 due to black magic (long story.. let's just say, someone casted a spell on her. Someone that her brother knows well).. then in 2005, my little brother Emir passed away after undergoing a surgery to repair his arteries.

None of us predicted this.

All of them were well.. healthy.. despite my little brother having the problems, he didn't have any obvious problems. The doctor said that he would have to go for the surgery sooner or later as it may affect his growth. After undergoing the surgery, the surgeons were so happy as they had 'successfully' repaired it. So they thought..... Then Emir had a fever and he had never woke up right after the surgery for approximately 3 months.. Yes that long.. Everyday we would pray for his health. I guess God loves him more so then he passed away.. He was only 2.

Imagine going around... anywhere... seeing mothers holding their toddlers.. mothers saying 'I love you' to their children.. All happy... But, you could never get the love anymore as you no longer have a mother... That's me.. I go around thinking about her everyday... Even the word 'mama' kills me... I used to call her that. I miss saying the word.. God I miss her so bad.. It also devastates me seeing how people would lie to their mothers... they would ignore them.. send them to the retired homes.. I wish my mother was still alive so that I could take care and love her everyday. She has done so much for me.. giving birth to me is already priceless! How does a 6th grader think? Would they fully comprehend the meaning of love? How to not be a rascal? I was only 12 when she passed away. I got my period a few days later and well, she never got to see me 'mature'. The last food that she cooked was ayam kicap... I will never forget that... Eating the food already made me shed to tears.. thinking that..... it was the end. Although it has already been 10 years but I still can't go over the fact that she is gone.. I saw her old recipe book yesterday while I was tidying up my room. Seeing her handwriting almost made me cry.. My high school years was a mess! I went to a local school here in Shah Alam after failing to plead my dad to send me to ISKL. The 5 years of high school... I've never gotten more than an A. I only got an A for English and my Malay language was quite poor. Don't even ask history. So yeah, you can picture how many A's I got for SPM. My mother was the one who would discipline me in studies. But she knew how to balance my studies and extra curricular activities. Without her, I wouldn't see the world... I wouldn't learn new things.. I wouldn't be reminiscing good ol' memories.. That's mama... never mess with your mama... what's life without her? Are you sure that you can survive?

My stepmum on the other hand was a very loving stepmum. I didn't get to be with her long... but all I could say that she's the people's princess. Definitely loving like Princess Diana. Her death was very tragic.. From that point onwards, I do believe in black magic. How bad it can affect someone.. I hope that the person responsible will be punished the day the world ends...

So can you feel it? The impact? Just imagine if your loved ones passed away... would you go cuckoo or would you be strong to prove to them that you're doing alright? I took the second path despite having a bit of struggle adjusting life without a mother. I cannot say that I am wholly proud of who I am now but I'm glad that I am doing well in university...
My achievements is for you mama... God bless you, Emir and mama Farah (my late stepmum)

my fate

... my fate on my academic report.

I passed up my academic report at 10.30am today. I printed all 72 pages the day before as well as sent it for binding that morning.. I was scared that my supervisor (En Norsham) would reject it completely as I hadn't showed him the report eversince I submitted my proposal. Although he knew what I was going to do but of course, I'm sure it wasn't completely what was on his mind.

So I saw him for probably 30 minutes. He flipped through each pages.. but I'm pretty sure he didn't read it word by word, instead, he scanned through. I thought I had checked the report wholly but the first few seconds he flipped through the pages, he saw that I labeled one of the sub topics wrongly. Strike one.. The other thing that was wrong was my abstract. It hadn't occured to me that to write an abstract, you only need one paragraph. Instead, I did a few paragraphs. Strike two.. Another, he wasn't sure what style of literature review I was using. I wasn't sure either but I followed the previous style my friends and I used for our old report and I did refer to some dissertations. I wrote the name of the author, followed by the title (italic) then when and where I retrieved it <- if the source was from the web. So, strike three.. I'm out!

He did promise me that he would call me once he read the whole thing. He didn't look through everything this morning which explained why he asked me to put what is stratified sampling. I did insert the definition so, yes, he didn't spot that.. So I will have to wait for him to check everything.. he is really eager for me to have - zero errors in order to get good grades. He said, "You have to do well for this cause time interview for masters, they will want to see it." Well, he did something like that.. I can't remember the exact words.

Now I can put my thoughts away from the report for a bit so that later I can focus on it 100 per cent once he has checked everything.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Hooray! The most anticipated movie, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (besides Harry Potter) is showing in the cinema on the 24th October. Yes, call me childish or whatever, but I thnink HSM is a pretty decent movie. I love the songs.. the plots.. And I definitely think Zac Efron is good looking. HSM 2 was on a couple of hours ago. I made my bf sit and watch it a bit as he had never seen the whole movie.. both HSM 1 and 2.

Of course I totally understand why he wouldn't enjoy it.. It's more for girls! :-) He did survive for an hour or so but after looking at his facial expression, I knew that he was forcing himself to watch it. Haha. Poor him. I didn't mind changing the channel as I've watched it a dozen of times.. But I still haven't managed to remember any of the lyrics from HSM 1 and 2 fully. I could hum to the melody.. sing a few bits during the corus.. That's about it.

I went to Subang Parade recently with one of my buddies, Shera. I invited her to go eat RM2 sushi. Sushi King had a sushi bonanza for 3 days specially for the members. My brother was the one who told me about it.. I haven't been a member for over a year now so since I kept craving for sushi, I decided to go there and become a member on the very spot. Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the sushi.. I want to talk about my new crocs! Hehe. Well, when we were heading to the parking lot, I spotted a pink crocs that was hanging new the window. It was definitely eye catching with the little designs so I had to go check it out. It's very pretty from afar but if you look closely, you'll see that it's actually HSM's crocs. It didn't have large prints of HSM but the only one that was obvious (that's if you look closely) is at the .... ok I'm not sure what to call that thingy.. the one that you can bring down or up.. depending on how you want to wear the crocs.. ok i'll just call it 'latch'. Well on the latch, there's a mini picture of Zac Efron. Although I do adore him but I don't go goo-goo ga-ga on celebs. I wanted to buy the shoes so badly because of the colour and the nice design but the picture just turned me off.. Shera told me to just buy it as it looked good... so after trying it on for a couple of minutes,..... I bought it! So it's now my second favourite slipper. My first favourite is definitely the pink grendha. No doubt..

Anyway, I'm definitely going to be the first in line on the 24th. If you're reading this Min, you must accompany me. Try to set your mind that HSM is an entertaining movie.. I love musicals.. e.g. hairspray.. so please bare with me :-) Hehe.

Finally!

Hurrah! Finally I've finished my academic report. Although my supervisor, Encik Norsham kept telling me that I could pass it up next semester, I decided not to do so as it may affect my studies. Since I'm in a long holiday and I have nothing better to do, why not use this free time and finish the report before end of October.

And that's what I had been doing the past few weeks..
Working my ass off trying to finish the report and make it silky smooth. One of the supervisors had asked for only 20 pages (from a trusted source). But if I was meant to do so, that means I did slightly more than 3 times the required pages... I did 72. But of course it includes the cover page, the 2nd cover page, 2 pages of table content, several pages of the example of the questionnaires given to the journalists and students, a page typed APPENDIXES and 9 samples of the answered questionnaires. So if you calculate all that and minus the total, you'll get a very small content. :-)

I haven't shown the real report eversince I worked on it. I wanted to show bit by bit but then I thought it would disrupt my mood. So I was like, what the heck.. Just proceed and do everything. He did see my proposal and understood what I wanted to do, so I guess that's what's important.

Tomorrow I'm seeing my supervisor. I'm going to show the complete report. Binding and all.. I don't mind having to change some minor things but if he rejected the whole thing, I would definitely be devastated as I have next week left to get things done again. I pray that he would not reject it..

I slept really late last night.. At 5am to be precise. I promised En Norsham to show him the report that morning.. (didn't set the time though). But I had to sort out some old papers and books to be sent to the recycling centre at Pasar section 6. So I texted him and asked him whether I could meet him in the afternoon instead and since he has class till night, he asked me to meet him today instead.. It's 1.30am on a Wednesday so I should be sleeping soon as I am thinking of seeing him between 9.30am to 10.30am.

Gosh I do hope he does approve the work.. Sleepless nights.. the struggles to find the right words.. I even bought a new printer just so that I could use it for this laptop. It's on windows vista so my old printer is only compatible with windows xp. Of course even to save the work to a thumbdrive and transfer it to my old laptop, would be a waste of time plus the microsoft word is different. I think I'm falling in love with windows vista's. Oh and another reason for the new printer is that if I buy the original ink for my old printer, it costs around RM80+ for colour and around RM60+ for black. That's about RM140+.. And the new printer only costs RM120. RM20+ cheaper than the new inks plus it's more faster and the model looks nice! :-)

So yeah.. in a few hours is my judgement day.. what will happen to my report.. will all the money used and the time sacrificed worthwhile?

To be cont'd....

stomach ache...

Yesterday I was hit with this HUGE stomach ache.. Very huge that it made me incapable of doing my daily routines (currently, playing Command & Conquer). I was lying on my bed all day... Hardly consuming anything. I craved for Coke (not coke as in cocaine.. coke as in coca cola :) ) Without eating a thing, Min bought be the Coke but forced me to drink this nasty drink that my maid suggested - teh pahit. After constantly forcing me to drink it, I agreed at last. Once I took a sip, it tasted alright but after a few seconds, I could taste the bitterness. Damn... I took a sip of Coke just to clear the taste and forced the rest down my throught and hurriedly sipped a bit more of Coke.. yes Coke does give you wonders...
Of course I didn't instantly recover. I was still incapable of doing a thing. I promised Min that we would do our academic report together but after typing a bit, I had to go to the loo.. The description of my poo? Well, let's say, it was an easy task as it went down like a stream... smoothly indeed... Yes, my poo wasn't solid and even as now. I did force myself to eat a few slices of apples and papaya and drink a bit of water just to help rehydrate my body. Rehydrate? Yeah right... I couldn't eat a thing. Just by looking at my favourite sambal fish, ayam goreng and vegetables made me wanted to vomit. I couldn't imagine consuming anything.
I didn't sleep well last night.. My stomache was making weird sounds.. I slept at 9pm I think.. then woke up at 1am then another time.. and lastly 6.30am.. I had to head to the toilet. I couldn't stand holding it. Especially when it isn't solid.. Cause with a bit of press, it'll come out easily... Gross isn't it?
This morning, I didn't feel weak as I was yesterday. I could go up the stairs without hesitating. But the feel of going to the toilet is still around.. Min brought me to pay my car loan and then to the pharmacist in seciton 9. I asked for the best medicine for cirit birit and the pharmacist gave me this very tiny medicine that gave me doubts of healing my stomach easily. She said "ubat ni kasi berhenti cirit birit." I wanted to hear the word "berhenti" so I payed RM2 for a couple of mini tablets and went to the car. Oh before that, I did eat a couple of cocktail cheese sausages. According to my bf, he said that my maid told him that I only ate a little. I think I ate at least 5. With cheese in it, I think it would be very much enough. So right after going to the pharmacy, we went to Pelita. Min wanted to eat rojak and I promised that I would accompany him. I ate 2 of the tablets. And the pharmacist reminded me to eat another 1 every 5 hours. So I ate the first 2 at 3.45pm then 8.45pm and another 1 at 1.45am? Alright...
Right now if you're wondering how the heck I'm typing this blog with the condition, well, I just went to the toilet so the next time it hits me would probably be in one or two hours.
I hope it stops soon cause I really want to finish up my incomplete academic report.. I've only done a bit.. The intro part.. I haven't started the findings yet! And having to pass up by end of this month would be impossible with the condition I am in.. If it gets worst tomorrow, I'll head to the clinic.
Oh well...

game time..

I'm supposed to stay up late and do my academic report.. It's already 12.20am and I've only done the introduction but that was taken from my proposal so let's just say, I haven't done anything yet. CTRL+C and CTRL+V doesn't mean a thing.
My bf just passed me the Command & Conquer game through his external. Damn.. I love that game! I used to get so hooked up. I love any games that requires building.. You name it.. The classic Sim Town, Theme Hospital, Sim Farm, The Sims, Age of Empires, Dungeon Keeper <- can't remember the exact name.. the one that you are the 'Satan' I think and you have slaves that can become your army and gold miner. And of course, Red Alert and sewaktu dengannya.. Gosh.. I can play that for hours! And tsk.. not such a good idea to accept the game. I used to have the cd for my old ps1 and I would play for hours.. Be reminded that I would restart the game everytime I'm about to lose. Yes, I hate losing. So that explains the long hours..
I haven't bought any for ps2.. I wonder whether they have it for ps3?
Nah... not such a good idea..
Game time! Yippee.....

just blabbings..

It's already October 11 and I haven't even done 50 per cent of my academic report. When do I have to pass it up? Soon... End of October to be precise. I've been trying to set my head straight since like.. let me see... June? But due to this very long break and the internship as well, it has 'blocked' me from doing any work. I was once a very hardworking person. Not to brag or anything.. but the environment at class does make me thrive to work harder. Since class does not start till end of December, I have to find a way fast to help me get the report done.
I've started typing a bit yesterday.. But the word a bit does mean a bit unlike some people who think that when I say "I haven't done anything" or "I haven't studied a thing" means the opposite. Gosh I hate that! They always think that I lie just because my results are alright. How da heck do I make them believe? They will only believe when I say "the exam was not bad.." or "it was easy." Trust me, it's better off not saying a word. It's either you say, you're not sure or you don't know.
Brain come on... think!

this is my tool to express my own feelings

The subject above indicates my feelings towards this blog. This is my tool of expression and I could not care less if no one ever reads this. I do not seek for any pityness nor do I seek any attention whatsoever..
:)

Learning my roots from the museum

I hardly visit the museum.. especially the one in Kuala Terengganu. I've been there once but that was about... lemme see.. 6 or 7 years ago? When my sister and I went to Terengganu by plane for Raya, my parents and grandma went to pick us up and we then went around KT as the distance from KT to Dungun is about 2 hours drive. Which means, we rarely go there unless we were to visit our relatives there. So, we went to see the new 'Crystal Mosque' and the mini historical buildings (great wall of China, the Taj Mahal, Kaabah..) and also the museum. We didn't get to see the mosque and the mini buildings upclose as it was close till the 3rd. 

My grandma was excited when we went to the museum as it was filled of memorial items of the late Sultans of Terengganu. Yes, I am somewhere in the family tree of the rulers.. not sure how directly but according to my grandma, we were related to Sultan Sulaiman III and more closely to his son, Tengku Ali. Tengku Ali then became the Sultan when Sultan Sulaiman got poisoned and after the British took over the country from the Japanese, the British didn't recognize Sultan Ali as the Sultan as he had close relations with the Japanese and that he didn't want to sign the Malayan Union treaty or something.. can't remember. So the throne was then given to Sultan Ismail and passed to his son Sultan Mahmud and then to the recent Agong, Tuanku Mizan :)

My grandma told me, "dulu Tengku Ali jahat.. dia cukur rambut hamba dia.." Occay the quote may not be throughly accurate but she said something like that. Not too sure about the exact words. Sorry.. I wanted to ask my grandpa about Tengku Ali.. how we were related to him but totally had forgotten as we were all busy celebrating the much anticipated celebration, Hari Raya. But I did ask my grandma again the same question who Tengku Ali was.. and she said that he always came to our house..

So the next time I go back to Terengganu, I'm going to ask my grandpa.. i'm sure he has loads to tell.. the only thing I know about my family background is that we are from Acheh, Bugis, Chinese, Arab, Indian.. to be honest, my grandpa once explained about it which was so many that I think I have the blood of all race :)