Just one wish..

There's one thing in my life that I want to achieve.. I would give up my car, my laptop and even my cats just to earn it...
What do I want?
I want to go to Hong Kong.. Badly.. One might say that Hong Kong is a boring city if they went there for holiday. Try living there for 2 years.. then you'll know how lovely it is. Of course the person that adds the sugar on top of all is, my late mum.
I don't want any money.. I am willing to spend all of my savings to go there. I just need a green light and I know that it won't be now..
Rezeki tak ada lagi...

Hamilton wins F1!

Today's race was probably the most crazy race I've ever watched. Massa was in the first pole position while Hamilton started off in the fourth. Massa had to win first position + Hamilton above the fifth position (sixth position and up) in order to win the driver's championship. Instead, Massa won first and Hamilton, fifth. It was scary enough as Hamilton dropped to the sixth position in the very last lap! But weirdly enough, Timo Glock slowed down and led to Hamilton going back to the fifth position. Star Sports showed a slight delay of the race thank goodness RTM1 showed a live broadcast of the race so during the few last laps, I changed the channel. And that's when Vettel was so close to Hamilton. He passed him... and just made my heart shatter... damn I thought... I really don't want to know the whole explanation of Glock slowing down cause I just want Hamilton to win!

Congrats to Hamilton. He deserves to win.. even last year's race. 2 Nov 2008 marks the first black driver to win Formula 1.

Pixie.. me!

Yesss! I finally got my hair cut just the way I wanted. Pixie cut. Very short but not boyish-like.
The last time I got my hair cut (supposedly the pixie cut) was less than a month a go. I wanted the pixie cut.. I even brought a picture of one of the models with the type of style. But, the hair stylist didn't know how to cut it that way although she looked as though she knew how to. So instead, I got just a normal short hair. Hrmmphh...

I went out with one of my best friends, Liyana (penang) not cousin. I have two Liyanas in my life. Both means the world to me. Anyhoo, we planned to have breakfast together but instead, we extended the day by going to Sunway Pyramid. That was when I decided to get my hair cut by a professional from A Cut Above. The whole cut, wash and blow costs me RM110. Definitely worth every ringgit. Yes, I spent that amount of money for a hair cut. But the end satisfaction is worth it!

Later Liyana bought a pair of sandals. Pretty indeed. :) And my usual cat food also, we bought us Takos. She bought the octopus and I bought chicken and cheese. Definitely a delicacy!

It does feel a huge relief when you see people seldomly and get to talk a lot of what had been happening since we last met.

Anyway, I love my hair. I know that some may ask "what's the point of styling your hair when in the end you cover it back?" The self satisfaction is more important than trying to satisfy others..

:-)

something

I wish you had a clue;

what I am going through..

The pain, the sufferings and the highs and lows;

I think of you everyday with my eyes closed.

I wish that you would appear in my thoughts;

but instead, it is filled with haunts..

When will it dissappear?

How long will my eyes remain in tears?

Even the direct questions remains unanswered

as nobody but God has the knowledge of the dead..

- Tengku Elena

glad it's over.. :-)

Phew today was a very tiring and hectic day for my family and I. All were very busy helping around to prepare our subsequent Raya openhouse.

Millions of apologies to those who were not invited but heard about it from someone before the event or just heard about it from this blog. As this year, we catered for 300 people and my dad's guests reached 200 people and my brother wanted to invite 50 people so the remaining balance were split into two - me and my sister's friends. So you know, having to pick 25 people from my high school, university (diploma & degree), cousins (semestinya ada) and old friends from other places was very tough! So yeah... it took me quite some time to hand pick those people and yes, I did have some sleepless nights. If you know me well, I think too much.
(This is for those who weren't invited.. If ada orang baca lah... but I doubt that. My regular and only reader is probably you, Min. Hehe) I didn't mean to not tell you.. but I just had to do so.

Well thank goodness this year my stepmum decided that we should call the caterers instead. But of course, my maid and the other neighbours' maid were around to give a hand. I think they worked double as hard as the waiter and waitress given by the caterer. The caterers were an hour late because they got lost. I think they were from Damansara or KL.. Can't remember. Thank goodness though the food was good.
Menu of the day was: Nasi briyani, ayam goreng, rendang Tok, ABC, home made laksa and nasi dagang as well as 2 lambs.

Thank you to Min, Kak Fatimah, Liyana, Kak Ida, Mai, Qila, Shera, Pudean, Nana, Een, Nik, Nol, Bada, Mirul, Zulmajd, Min's brother+wife+Rayyan for coming.. Only 18 came out of 25 (actually I invited a bit more than that cause I'm pretty sure some people have their own agendas - for instance, Life & Times editor Suraya Al-Attas <- she did say that she had other openhouse but she'll try to make it through.. I didn't expect her to really come cause I know that she has a very hectic schedule).

I am a bit upset who couldn't come.. Who did text me that they had other plans, thank you for the prior notice.. but those who didn't say a word, gosh... not to blame the person or anything but, the limited invitation could've been given to someone else.. I did have a split decision whether to invite my old friends from high school. Instead, I dropped them and invited my uni friends.. Hmmm....

But all and all, everything went well. My relatives and dad's friends were also present.. Even the guy who sells my dad golf sticks! Yes, my dad invited probably all of the people inside his phone memory. Including the guy who sells his glasses.. hehe. Yeah, that's my dad.. he's totally generous and kind.

Well, that's about it... I'm happy everything went well and that my cats were the center of attention as well. Haha.

I've watched it!

Yes, like I mentioned in the previous post, I wanted to watch HSM 3: Senior Year on the 24th. And, today is the 24th. I did exagerate when I said I wanted to be the first in line to watch the movie today.. BUT I was one of the first who watched it at Cineleisure. The first show was at 12.50pm and I was there with Min (haha) at 12pm. Woohoo!

I know for those who enjoy serious movies, they wouldn't accept the movie probably at all. It's more for those 'young in heart' type of adults. For children, of course they would love the movie. I watched HSM 1 and 2 so therefore, being able to see the very end of the 'story' really made me happy and of course sad and touched. Cause, I won't have any movies to look forward to anymore! (Apart from Harry Potter of course). I felt the same way when Lord of the Rings ended. No more Orlando Bloom... damn..

I won't dish out what the story is about.. what happened and all that.. But to keep you from not going to watch it is that the choreography, songs and plots are superb! I love it! Zac of course, looks adorable. And Vanessa as well. Sharpay was still Sharpay... Pinky, bossy.. There are new characters as well. But not main ones of course.

I love their props when they rehearsed for their last theatre. Very classy indeed. The songs, like the previous movies, are catchy and some slow... it just makes your heart melt when Troy (Zac) and Gabriella (Vanessa) sings together... It makes me think 'Gosh I wish I had the talent. And wish that Min was Troy and I was Gabriella.' Haha.

To be honest, I did wanted to weep a bit. I know, I know it sounds silly but, trust me.. You really have to focus the movie and let the story carry your heart.. Then you'll get all emotional about it.

Oh speaking of Min, I'm not totally sure if he enjoyed it but, he did hum some of the previous HSM songs on the way back. So I guess he did enjoy it quite a bit. Hehe. When he turned the radio on on our way back, they played one of the latest HSM song! I shrieked a bit. Yes, I am very young in heart.

What to expect from the movie? Just watch it... It's their very last movie... they've graduated... No more wildcats... Gabriella goes to Uni... Troy had a hard decision where to study.. his dad wanted him to go to UA, but his theatre teacher wanted him to go to Julliard.. It was their last theatre together.... and all that... Everything ends...

I'll definitely give it 8.5 over 10. The reason I deducted 1.5 is because there won't be anymore HSM!! Noooooooooooooooooooo


:)

can u feel it?

Have you ever lost someone that you cherish the most? Your mother or father? Any of your siblings? Your grandma or grandpa? Or perhaps any of your partners or friends?

If no, how sure are you that God woudn't take them away from you in a minute... an hour.. or later on today? Think about it...

I've witnessed three deaths in my life... yes, three... My mother passed away in 1998 due to brain haemorrhage while we were living in Hong Kong.. followed by my stepmum who passed away in 2002 due to black magic (long story.. let's just say, someone casted a spell on her. Someone that her brother knows well).. then in 2005, my little brother Emir passed away after undergoing a surgery to repair his arteries.

None of us predicted this.

All of them were well.. healthy.. despite my little brother having the problems, he didn't have any obvious problems. The doctor said that he would have to go for the surgery sooner or later as it may affect his growth. After undergoing the surgery, the surgeons were so happy as they had 'successfully' repaired it. So they thought..... Then Emir had a fever and he had never woke up right after the surgery for approximately 3 months.. Yes that long.. Everyday we would pray for his health. I guess God loves him more so then he passed away.. He was only 2.

Imagine going around... anywhere... seeing mothers holding their toddlers.. mothers saying 'I love you' to their children.. All happy... But, you could never get the love anymore as you no longer have a mother... That's me.. I go around thinking about her everyday... Even the word 'mama' kills me... I used to call her that. I miss saying the word.. God I miss her so bad.. It also devastates me seeing how people would lie to their mothers... they would ignore them.. send them to the retired homes.. I wish my mother was still alive so that I could take care and love her everyday. She has done so much for me.. giving birth to me is already priceless! How does a 6th grader think? Would they fully comprehend the meaning of love? How to not be a rascal? I was only 12 when she passed away. I got my period a few days later and well, she never got to see me 'mature'. The last food that she cooked was ayam kicap... I will never forget that... Eating the food already made me shed to tears.. thinking that..... it was the end. Although it has already been 10 years but I still can't go over the fact that she is gone.. I saw her old recipe book yesterday while I was tidying up my room. Seeing her handwriting almost made me cry.. My high school years was a mess! I went to a local school here in Shah Alam after failing to plead my dad to send me to ISKL. The 5 years of high school... I've never gotten more than an A. I only got an A for English and my Malay language was quite poor. Don't even ask history. So yeah, you can picture how many A's I got for SPM. My mother was the one who would discipline me in studies. But she knew how to balance my studies and extra curricular activities. Without her, I wouldn't see the world... I wouldn't learn new things.. I wouldn't be reminiscing good ol' memories.. That's mama... never mess with your mama... what's life without her? Are you sure that you can survive?

My stepmum on the other hand was a very loving stepmum. I didn't get to be with her long... but all I could say that she's the people's princess. Definitely loving like Princess Diana. Her death was very tragic.. From that point onwards, I do believe in black magic. How bad it can affect someone.. I hope that the person responsible will be punished the day the world ends...

So can you feel it? The impact? Just imagine if your loved ones passed away... would you go cuckoo or would you be strong to prove to them that you're doing alright? I took the second path despite having a bit of struggle adjusting life without a mother. I cannot say that I am wholly proud of who I am now but I'm glad that I am doing well in university...
My achievements is for you mama... God bless you, Emir and mama Farah (my late stepmum)

my fate

... my fate on my academic report.

I passed up my academic report at 10.30am today. I printed all 72 pages the day before as well as sent it for binding that morning.. I was scared that my supervisor (En Norsham) would reject it completely as I hadn't showed him the report eversince I submitted my proposal. Although he knew what I was going to do but of course, I'm sure it wasn't completely what was on his mind.

So I saw him for probably 30 minutes. He flipped through each pages.. but I'm pretty sure he didn't read it word by word, instead, he scanned through. I thought I had checked the report wholly but the first few seconds he flipped through the pages, he saw that I labeled one of the sub topics wrongly. Strike one.. The other thing that was wrong was my abstract. It hadn't occured to me that to write an abstract, you only need one paragraph. Instead, I did a few paragraphs. Strike two.. Another, he wasn't sure what style of literature review I was using. I wasn't sure either but I followed the previous style my friends and I used for our old report and I did refer to some dissertations. I wrote the name of the author, followed by the title (italic) then when and where I retrieved it <- if the source was from the web. So, strike three.. I'm out!

He did promise me that he would call me once he read the whole thing. He didn't look through everything this morning which explained why he asked me to put what is stratified sampling. I did insert the definition so, yes, he didn't spot that.. So I will have to wait for him to check everything.. he is really eager for me to have - zero errors in order to get good grades. He said, "You have to do well for this cause time interview for masters, they will want to see it." Well, he did something like that.. I can't remember the exact words.

Now I can put my thoughts away from the report for a bit so that later I can focus on it 100 per cent once he has checked everything.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Hooray! The most anticipated movie, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (besides Harry Potter) is showing in the cinema on the 24th October. Yes, call me childish or whatever, but I thnink HSM is a pretty decent movie. I love the songs.. the plots.. And I definitely think Zac Efron is good looking. HSM 2 was on a couple of hours ago. I made my bf sit and watch it a bit as he had never seen the whole movie.. both HSM 1 and 2.

Of course I totally understand why he wouldn't enjoy it.. It's more for girls! :-) He did survive for an hour or so but after looking at his facial expression, I knew that he was forcing himself to watch it. Haha. Poor him. I didn't mind changing the channel as I've watched it a dozen of times.. But I still haven't managed to remember any of the lyrics from HSM 1 and 2 fully. I could hum to the melody.. sing a few bits during the corus.. That's about it.

I went to Subang Parade recently with one of my buddies, Shera. I invited her to go eat RM2 sushi. Sushi King had a sushi bonanza for 3 days specially for the members. My brother was the one who told me about it.. I haven't been a member for over a year now so since I kept craving for sushi, I decided to go there and become a member on the very spot. Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the sushi.. I want to talk about my new crocs! Hehe. Well, when we were heading to the parking lot, I spotted a pink crocs that was hanging new the window. It was definitely eye catching with the little designs so I had to go check it out. It's very pretty from afar but if you look closely, you'll see that it's actually HSM's crocs. It didn't have large prints of HSM but the only one that was obvious (that's if you look closely) is at the .... ok I'm not sure what to call that thingy.. the one that you can bring down or up.. depending on how you want to wear the crocs.. ok i'll just call it 'latch'. Well on the latch, there's a mini picture of Zac Efron. Although I do adore him but I don't go goo-goo ga-ga on celebs. I wanted to buy the shoes so badly because of the colour and the nice design but the picture just turned me off.. Shera told me to just buy it as it looked good... so after trying it on for a couple of minutes,..... I bought it! So it's now my second favourite slipper. My first favourite is definitely the pink grendha. No doubt..

Anyway, I'm definitely going to be the first in line on the 24th. If you're reading this Min, you must accompany me. Try to set your mind that HSM is an entertaining movie.. I love musicals.. e.g. hairspray.. so please bare with me :-) Hehe.

Finally!

Hurrah! Finally I've finished my academic report. Although my supervisor, Encik Norsham kept telling me that I could pass it up next semester, I decided not to do so as it may affect my studies. Since I'm in a long holiday and I have nothing better to do, why not use this free time and finish the report before end of October.

And that's what I had been doing the past few weeks..
Working my ass off trying to finish the report and make it silky smooth. One of the supervisors had asked for only 20 pages (from a trusted source). But if I was meant to do so, that means I did slightly more than 3 times the required pages... I did 72. But of course it includes the cover page, the 2nd cover page, 2 pages of table content, several pages of the example of the questionnaires given to the journalists and students, a page typed APPENDIXES and 9 samples of the answered questionnaires. So if you calculate all that and minus the total, you'll get a very small content. :-)

I haven't shown the real report eversince I worked on it. I wanted to show bit by bit but then I thought it would disrupt my mood. So I was like, what the heck.. Just proceed and do everything. He did see my proposal and understood what I wanted to do, so I guess that's what's important.

Tomorrow I'm seeing my supervisor. I'm going to show the complete report. Binding and all.. I don't mind having to change some minor things but if he rejected the whole thing, I would definitely be devastated as I have next week left to get things done again. I pray that he would not reject it..

I slept really late last night.. At 5am to be precise. I promised En Norsham to show him the report that morning.. (didn't set the time though). But I had to sort out some old papers and books to be sent to the recycling centre at Pasar section 6. So I texted him and asked him whether I could meet him in the afternoon instead and since he has class till night, he asked me to meet him today instead.. It's 1.30am on a Wednesday so I should be sleeping soon as I am thinking of seeing him between 9.30am to 10.30am.

Gosh I do hope he does approve the work.. Sleepless nights.. the struggles to find the right words.. I even bought a new printer just so that I could use it for this laptop. It's on windows vista so my old printer is only compatible with windows xp. Of course even to save the work to a thumbdrive and transfer it to my old laptop, would be a waste of time plus the microsoft word is different. I think I'm falling in love with windows vista's. Oh and another reason for the new printer is that if I buy the original ink for my old printer, it costs around RM80+ for colour and around RM60+ for black. That's about RM140+.. And the new printer only costs RM120. RM20+ cheaper than the new inks plus it's more faster and the model looks nice! :-)

So yeah.. in a few hours is my judgement day.. what will happen to my report.. will all the money used and the time sacrificed worthwhile?

To be cont'd....

stomach ache...

Yesterday I was hit with this HUGE stomach ache.. Very huge that it made me incapable of doing my daily routines (currently, playing Command & Conquer). I was lying on my bed all day... Hardly consuming anything. I craved for Coke (not coke as in cocaine.. coke as in coca cola :) ) Without eating a thing, Min bought be the Coke but forced me to drink this nasty drink that my maid suggested - teh pahit. After constantly forcing me to drink it, I agreed at last. Once I took a sip, it tasted alright but after a few seconds, I could taste the bitterness. Damn... I took a sip of Coke just to clear the taste and forced the rest down my throught and hurriedly sipped a bit more of Coke.. yes Coke does give you wonders...
Of course I didn't instantly recover. I was still incapable of doing a thing. I promised Min that we would do our academic report together but after typing a bit, I had to go to the loo.. The description of my poo? Well, let's say, it was an easy task as it went down like a stream... smoothly indeed... Yes, my poo wasn't solid and even as now. I did force myself to eat a few slices of apples and papaya and drink a bit of water just to help rehydrate my body. Rehydrate? Yeah right... I couldn't eat a thing. Just by looking at my favourite sambal fish, ayam goreng and vegetables made me wanted to vomit. I couldn't imagine consuming anything.
I didn't sleep well last night.. My stomache was making weird sounds.. I slept at 9pm I think.. then woke up at 1am then another time.. and lastly 6.30am.. I had to head to the toilet. I couldn't stand holding it. Especially when it isn't solid.. Cause with a bit of press, it'll come out easily... Gross isn't it?
This morning, I didn't feel weak as I was yesterday. I could go up the stairs without hesitating. But the feel of going to the toilet is still around.. Min brought me to pay my car loan and then to the pharmacist in seciton 9. I asked for the best medicine for cirit birit and the pharmacist gave me this very tiny medicine that gave me doubts of healing my stomach easily. She said "ubat ni kasi berhenti cirit birit." I wanted to hear the word "berhenti" so I payed RM2 for a couple of mini tablets and went to the car. Oh before that, I did eat a couple of cocktail cheese sausages. According to my bf, he said that my maid told him that I only ate a little. I think I ate at least 5. With cheese in it, I think it would be very much enough. So right after going to the pharmacy, we went to Pelita. Min wanted to eat rojak and I promised that I would accompany him. I ate 2 of the tablets. And the pharmacist reminded me to eat another 1 every 5 hours. So I ate the first 2 at 3.45pm then 8.45pm and another 1 at 1.45am? Alright...
Right now if you're wondering how the heck I'm typing this blog with the condition, well, I just went to the toilet so the next time it hits me would probably be in one or two hours.
I hope it stops soon cause I really want to finish up my incomplete academic report.. I've only done a bit.. The intro part.. I haven't started the findings yet! And having to pass up by end of this month would be impossible with the condition I am in.. If it gets worst tomorrow, I'll head to the clinic.
Oh well...

game time..

I'm supposed to stay up late and do my academic report.. It's already 12.20am and I've only done the introduction but that was taken from my proposal so let's just say, I haven't done anything yet. CTRL+C and CTRL+V doesn't mean a thing.
My bf just passed me the Command & Conquer game through his external. Damn.. I love that game! I used to get so hooked up. I love any games that requires building.. You name it.. The classic Sim Town, Theme Hospital, Sim Farm, The Sims, Age of Empires, Dungeon Keeper <- can't remember the exact name.. the one that you are the 'Satan' I think and you have slaves that can become your army and gold miner. And of course, Red Alert and sewaktu dengannya.. Gosh.. I can play that for hours! And tsk.. not such a good idea to accept the game. I used to have the cd for my old ps1 and I would play for hours.. Be reminded that I would restart the game everytime I'm about to lose. Yes, I hate losing. So that explains the long hours..
I haven't bought any for ps2.. I wonder whether they have it for ps3?
Nah... not such a good idea..
Game time! Yippee.....

just blabbings..

It's already October 11 and I haven't even done 50 per cent of my academic report. When do I have to pass it up? Soon... End of October to be precise. I've been trying to set my head straight since like.. let me see... June? But due to this very long break and the internship as well, it has 'blocked' me from doing any work. I was once a very hardworking person. Not to brag or anything.. but the environment at class does make me thrive to work harder. Since class does not start till end of December, I have to find a way fast to help me get the report done.
I've started typing a bit yesterday.. But the word a bit does mean a bit unlike some people who think that when I say "I haven't done anything" or "I haven't studied a thing" means the opposite. Gosh I hate that! They always think that I lie just because my results are alright. How da heck do I make them believe? They will only believe when I say "the exam was not bad.." or "it was easy." Trust me, it's better off not saying a word. It's either you say, you're not sure or you don't know.
Brain come on... think!

this is my tool to express my own feelings

The subject above indicates my feelings towards this blog. This is my tool of expression and I could not care less if no one ever reads this. I do not seek for any pityness nor do I seek any attention whatsoever..
:)

Learning my roots from the museum

I hardly visit the museum.. especially the one in Kuala Terengganu. I've been there once but that was about... lemme see.. 6 or 7 years ago? When my sister and I went to Terengganu by plane for Raya, my parents and grandma went to pick us up and we then went around KT as the distance from KT to Dungun is about 2 hours drive. Which means, we rarely go there unless we were to visit our relatives there. So, we went to see the new 'Crystal Mosque' and the mini historical buildings (great wall of China, the Taj Mahal, Kaabah..) and also the museum. We didn't get to see the mosque and the mini buildings upclose as it was close till the 3rd. 

My grandma was excited when we went to the museum as it was filled of memorial items of the late Sultans of Terengganu. Yes, I am somewhere in the family tree of the rulers.. not sure how directly but according to my grandma, we were related to Sultan Sulaiman III and more closely to his son, Tengku Ali. Tengku Ali then became the Sultan when Sultan Sulaiman got poisoned and after the British took over the country from the Japanese, the British didn't recognize Sultan Ali as the Sultan as he had close relations with the Japanese and that he didn't want to sign the Malayan Union treaty or something.. can't remember. So the throne was then given to Sultan Ismail and passed to his son Sultan Mahmud and then to the recent Agong, Tuanku Mizan :)

My grandma told me, "dulu Tengku Ali jahat.. dia cukur rambut hamba dia.." Occay the quote may not be throughly accurate but she said something like that. Not too sure about the exact words. Sorry.. I wanted to ask my grandpa about Tengku Ali.. how we were related to him but totally had forgotten as we were all busy celebrating the much anticipated celebration, Hari Raya. But I did ask my grandma again the same question who Tengku Ali was.. and she said that he always came to our house..

So the next time I go back to Terengganu, I'm going to ask my grandpa.. i'm sure he has loads to tell.. the only thing I know about my family background is that we are from Acheh, Bugis, Chinese, Arab, Indian.. to be honest, my grandpa once explained about it which was so many that I think I have the blood of all race :)

twit

I have been a jealous and self-minded twit lately.. I do realize it but I just can't help it

wasn't up for it..

Yesterday something big happened to me.. I woun't reveal what it was but let's say, I blew things out of proportion.. How my hate to just one particular person can affect others.. Yes, I know, how shallow minded I was when it happened however, I couldn't see the point of being nice to the person if the person is just pretending. I did respect the person but then I was stupid for trusting the person. Ok, there's so many 'the person'. Let's just name ... = ABC. I've heard quite a lot about ABC although we're far away. As I mentioned, we haven't seen each other for quite sometime. The thing that bugs me most is that how others can accept ABC when ABC talks about them too? Good PR perhaps? Or spin-doctor?
I admit that it's childish to be like this, however, we never gotten into a fight. And I'm positive that ABC doesn't know that I know what ABC did. Since it is the holy month of Ramadhan, I forgive ABC for all the wrongdoings that ABC did to me. But, I will pretend if I have to just to keep things harmony since someone around me is close to ABC and I'll make sure that it won't get detected by others!

kill kill kill

I hardly browse people's page at facebook cause I just couldn't care less.. but my guts told me to just click a few pages and see a particular thing that is going on..
And BINGO! A comment from someone that grrrr I can't stand! Of course not in my page.. another person..
I really wish I could reveal the person's name.. and what I'm going bonkers about.. but just to give you a bit of a clue, I haven't seen that person for months but only have heard of the name, constantly from someone... Over, and over... It's driving me nuts!
Why am I feeling this way? Well, let's just say that the person is a two-face. Although it's typical for anybody to be that way especially when they want their popularity rank to go up. For instance, some people will just blurt out their friend's secret to another just so that they would be the first person to tell the rest about it. Of course, I'm not talking about my real situation. My situation is - the person acts as a good friend infront but at the back kill, kill kill... die, die die...
If you know me well... really-really well, you know who I'm talking about...

Tammy and Fluffy dies..

My cute and adorable eating-machines died today..
Tammy and Fluffy..

The guinea pigs bought by my boyfriend and my auntie died today at the same time.. The cause? I'm pretty sure due to the poisonous vegetable that I bought at the pasar pagi yesterday. I would normally buy their food at Cold Storage or Tesco.. and for almost 5 month they have been munching on foods that comes from the supermarket. Not to blame the pasar, but I'm pretty sure that they died because of the cabbage I fed them the night before (they died in the morning).
To say that I did not treat them right, I think I gave them a rather high-class treatment as I often buy apple scented wood 'thingies' for their bed.. I even upgraded their house from a medium size house that my boyfriend bought me for my birthday. At times I would buy expensive cabbage for them.. I was thinking of buying them a larger house too.. :-(


I did not see this coming..

I will miss them both dearly..

just isn't the same

I've mentioned this before, and I'm going to mention it again... that I, miss my mama so badly..
Ramadhan is here and Raya is just around the corner and without her, things doesn't feel right.. Eversince she passed away 10 years ago, Raya has never been the same. Not because of my maturing age.. it's just that with her present, at least I can salam her on that very special day.. hug her and kiss her.. Oh I long my mother's touch.. If only people knew.. I feel very sad for those who disrespect their mother and lie to them for instance, they say they're going somewhere but instead, they are heading elsewhere. They do wrong things behind their back.. they scold or curse at their mother.. I would sell my soul just to see her for one more time..
Having a stepmother isn't the same.. her love is different. She has her own child (my little brother) to love and care. I don't long for love from anyone else besides her.
This Ramadhan I'm trying my best not to miss the tarawikh prayers.. it is said that sembahyang berjemaah is better than praying alone. I no longer want to miss a single prayer.. I want to recite the Quran everyday.. I no longer want to do bad deeds.. even little ones.. InshaAllah.. I want to pray for my mother to be in heaven everyday.. That is the least that I can do to say I love you..
If only I had the ability to make everyone realize that they need to change before its too late.. That the world can end on any Friday.. maybe this Friday.. or next? No human knows.. Only God knows..
When someone you love is taken a way from you.. then you realize how precious the person is in your life.. then you realize how you wish you could turn back the time and say "I'm sorry for everything I have done to you.. I love you so much." But, I was only 12 at the time.. immature little rascal.. Of course, I always cling onto mama wherever I go.. I would go out with her and help her with things.. Let's just say that I was mama's little girl. Mama was a very loving, active and supporting mum.. She would enroll my siblings and I in various extra curricular activities. You name it.. I've tried taekwando, ballet, piano, gamelan, traditional dance, singing, acting, swimming... She would send us to the places and wait for us.. My family were not as fortunate compared to now.. in financial wise. Our satisfactions were filled with her love. We use to go to various places by bus, tram (HK), and taxi.. or sometimes we would walk.. For instance, we would walk from section 8 to the gymnastic gymnasium at section 6 while others would go by car.. The distance may not be very far but it is far enough to say that a lot of energy has been used. Mama would save up her money to buy things that we wanted.. we hardly get things on the very spot. Presents are always given during birthdays or when we get good grades. That's probably why I was always in top ten in the class during primary school. If you ask me about high school, to tell you the truth, I've never gotten more than one A in class. Yes never. The only A is from English. Period. My malay subject would be around B or C.. don't ask about history..
Just to make it clear, I wasn't as hard working as I was during primary school as mama would always support me with my studies. She would help me out when I'm stuck.. she would bring me to tuitions.. So when we moved back to Malaysia form HK because of mama's tragic death in 1998, I just couldn't study like I used to. I quit most of my activities. Gymnastic was still my fave until form 3 and later I felt it was never the same.. mama would watch me train everyday.. when I forgot to point my toe, she would go "Elena, point your toe." or "Elena, chin up." Mama was perfect... just perfect.. I never realized that.. I would say things in my heart when she scolds me.. but that was because I was very young.. I was so immature. I wish I could think and feel the way I am now back in those years..
Hmm...
God loves her more than I do..

Oh my dear lap....top

My laptop....
What can I say about it? Basically, I got it from my dad about..let me see.. during my diploma.. that was like... almost 5 years ago? I've been dying to change it for 2 years now but well, since my dad bought me a car which is worth so much, I decided to wait... and wait... and wait..
Back in the first 2 years that I got the laptop, I didn't feel any shame of bringing it around. Because it was in PERFECT condition. It still looked brand new.. no scratches.. no nothing..

Fast forward to the present, I can't shut my laptop properly cause I accidently knocked the side of my laptop at my friend's bed so the 'lock' thingy broke.. and the 'paint' or whatever you call it is disappearing and at times it sticks on my hand.. so that sucks.. Another, it's quite heavy compared to the hi-tech laptops these days. And, the sound of the fan is, at times, annoying.. That's why i'm actually dying to change this laptop..

BUT
and I repeat, BUT, the reason I'm stalling my wish to replace the laptop is because it has done so much for me.. I've been using this laptop to edit some of the videos that my group and I did back in diploma, I used it to write lecture notes, to do my assignments... well let's say everything. And to tell you the truth, this laptop has played a huge part in my achievements during diploma and currently, degree.. So yes, it does have a sentimental value to me or whatever the right word is..

This laptop isn't broken.. I'm using it right now.. but because of the 'outer' condition makes me want to replace it.. I know that some might say that I can afford to buy a new laptop. I won't deny that but the reasons include, 1) This laptop is still running perfectly 2) a new laptop costs either almost RM2k or more and I don't want to burden my dad afterall, he's currently paying for the car until I work 3) this laptop has never died on me. it's just the outer condition that prevents me from bringing it out from my house.. so it just lies in my room and services me when I need to use it

If I had the opportunity to buy a new laptop.. probably when I work? Well, I really would like to own a Sony Vaio.. My sister has it.. the first time she showed it to me through the internet when she studied in UK, I was really jealous. But at the time, this laptop was still perfect so the jealousy didn't last long.. :)
But right now there are so many pretty colours to choose from.. i'm eyeing on pink or gold.. but preferably gold.. it looks luxurious. MAC was on top of my list.. I craved for the apple. But then, I've been using windows for many years and getting used to something new would probably muddle my head. Plus some of the softwares aren't the same..
but of course, MAC is still powerful and lovely.
I did eye on Dell as I constantly kept receiving ads through the Star on its latest colourful laptops. I love yellow. But my brother said the spare parts are hard to find if anything happens to it.. so, i've crossed that out.
So yeah.. vaio... i would really love to have that.. but according to the brochure, for a black or white coloured laptop, it costs about RM3448 i think.. and if you want other colours (gold) you have to add another RM1k but of course the specs is different. I think just the ram. Can't remember.. rm4448 for a laptop... hrmm... i could buy 4 hi-tech handphones.. or use that to go back to Hong Kong. If I had a choice between laptop and Hong Kong, I would definitely choose HK. Or if between a car (if i didn't have a car) and HK, i still would choose HK. Trust me, i miss the country.
Can i stay there permanently? Get married and have babies there? With Min of course. Hehe.

Dream on..

Impak Maksima The Musical

Yes, that's right.. Impak Maksima - the movie/tv series is turning to... a MUSICAL THEATRE! I attended the launch yesterday at Istana Budaya and since the theatre is set to be staged on Nov 11 to 22, the scenes are still under discussion.. so I have no insights on it.

If you've watched the movie/tv series, the first thing you would think of, "How the heck do you drift on stage?" I personally have never watched the movie nor the series but I know from the title and poster itself, it's about racing. Like The Fast & The Furious. Am I right?
So Ahmad Idham (director) said that Istana Budaya will be sponsoring the special floor that will be suitable for the drifting. And if you're wondering whether the stage is big enough to drive a car around and not a mock truck or train like in Ibu Zain and P.Ramlee, the answer is, "yes, it's big." According to him, you can even do one of the stunts that you do an 8 around two boards. I have no idea what it is called.. but you know.. the 8... one loop around a board and the other loop around another - forming the number 8. You get the drift..
Don't worry about the safety of the audience though cause he said that he's still discussing on the safety measures and he promised that everything will be safe.
Who are the actors? Since it's a musical theatre and it involves in music and singing especially, who are the lucky ones that are selected? Well, they are still the main characters in the movie/tv series - Awal, Jue Aziz and Dynaz.
You may think "What?? They are not singers!"
Idham answered that they don't need to have a good voice for the theatre as long as their voices are good enough to listen, then all will be good.
The songs are specially made by the talented musician, Cat Farish. According to Cat, 70 per cent of the musics are finished.

If the theatre becomes a success, Ahmad Idham will be the first to bring such theatre on stage. I have no doubts of him.. I'm sure his young and fresh ideas will definitely be a success. I know that it'll be a huge task for him to think about how he wants to create the drifting scenes, the dancing and singing altogether but whatever it is, we have to wait till November.
The tickets are priced at RM30 to RM100 by the way.
I'm not here to promote the theatre but I think this rather wild idea is something that everyone should come and see. Imagine racing cars on stage... drifting away... wow! I wonder if they have any crash scenes.. how do they create that? Do they cut the car into half?
A lot of questions are yet to be answered.. but it will when the theatre starts..

So go on, support our local theatres. :)

working on a MILLION ringgit watch

NST's compaq computer indicates it's 11.05am right now and the other journalists are busy typing away their assignments. I'm supposed to work on the latest Dior watches that they had 'previewed' to me and the rest who attended the Dior Luncheon at Modesto's recently but, I'm having a hard time to give it a good lead.
To use quotes or no quotes...
This is probably by far one of the hardest task I've ever encountered because it involves a RM1million limited edition watch. Yes one bloody million ringgit.... holy cow!
And there are only 25 of them available throughout the world. I wonder whether bringing a few of them to Malaysia this coming October is a great idea?
Well, according to one of the CD PR, she said that a man in Singapore recently popped in CD's boutique there and asked for a watch to buy for his wife's birthday. The salesgirl then showed the Dior Christal watch and the guy actually immediately loved it and bought it right a way! WOW! Lucky woman!
So one sold... does that mean there's 24 left?

I did get to touch the watch.. very heavy indeed.. An evil part of me told me, "Elena, run away with the watch! Go on.. there's a staircase outside."
Haha.. yeah right!
If I was one of the millionaires in Malaysia.. no wait.. scribble millionaire.. If I was one of the billionaires in Malaysia, would I actually go for the watch? With all the claims.. shock-proof, scratch-proof, water-proof... the watch went through 300 tests..(normal watch are only tested 80 times.. and when I say normal, it means other watches like Tag Heuer, Rolex.. <- normal huh?) and the list goes on and on.. I think I may splurge a million ringgit on just a single watch that tells us just the TIME. Afterall, I am a billionaire.. I still have loads of money left. I wish!
So what would I do when I have it? Of course like any other overly rich and high class people out there, - show it off to your girl friends..
Minutes after purchasing it.. I would speed dial all of my friends and go "Hey girl, let's go out for coffee. Let's chit-chat!"

Even if I just saw them yesterday.

I would purposely come a few minutes late so that everyone would be at the table.. And try to get the coffeehouse's lights to help flash the luxurious watch..

*flash...flash..* or *sparkle..sparkle*

Like any other supportive and jealous friends, they would go:
"Oh my God! You bought the new Dior watch! It must be expensive!"
"I've been dying to get the watch!"
"My hubby only bought me this Chopard watch"

And trying to pretend that you have forgotten all about the watch cause afterall, you're there to chitchat so I'll go:
"Oh yeah! I just bought it not too long ago (today actually). Nah, it's nothing.."

So voila, the agenda and topic of the day at the coffee house would be the Dior Christal watch. They'll try it on.. inspect it.. and come back home and bug their husbands to buy them one too. Even if it only lasts a couple of hours, afterall, that IS my intention. To show it off.

Wow what a bi*ch!


Of course, I'm nothing like that. Har har.

FRIENDS... Time for me to hit the RESET button

I've been thinking about the people around me for quite some time.. whether they are loyal to me because they are comfortable being friends with me or are they sticking around so that they can dig in the negative stuff that I say or do and spread the news to others? I wonder...

Just give me a small piece of paper to list down the names that I trust and cherish as a friend, and voila! You get the whole lot in.

Yes, they are not many.

I remember back in the school days, in my old high school in section 2 Shah Alam.. I had a couple of friends that I hung out during recess. I was a prefect at the time so all the prefects would go for lunch at a different time (we had the whole canteen for ourselves). At times a few of them would go to me and say "Elena boleh tak pinjam (a certain amount of money)?" At times it would be RM1 or RM2... or a few cents.. I was cool with people borrowing things. But then it got over the line.. The word pinjam.. never meant = to borrow and to return back. I never got the money back and I'm not sure what is the total..
Ok I don't want to go pointing fingers cause i'm not sure whether they don't remember that they borrowed the money or... worse, whether they 'pow-ed' me. I'm not familiar with the 'pow' term. But people once told me that it was a trend for these so called hot shots to take money from another and not returning it back. It was part of their satisfaction as though they were bigger than the rest.

After being a complete dunce, I decided to become stingy.. and selective.

So that's the type of friends who are just with me for the sake of borrowing my money..

Next type is the ones that only text me when they have an important question to ask.. Oh trust me.. I'm famous during exams or when there are projects to pass up. I'm cool with the ones that I do strike conversations now and then.. but for the ones that I hardly even talk to then suddenly they come knocking on my door for help, is really weird.. Of course, I do help them and yes, dengan tulus ikhlas.. But it's just weird that they appear and then disappear.. and when the season comes again, they'll reappear and *poof* vanish.

I'm tired of being the one who text people and go "hey, how are you? I haven't heard from you for quite some time." How much does friendships worth? Spending 15cents or 20cents just to keep the knot isn't that much right? Even a litre of petrol costs us RM2.55. That's like equivalent to let me see.. 17 texts? That's a lot you know..and a lot of information gained. Trust me... I hardly get those kind of texts..

I wonder if I hit the reset button, how many people will still be loyal to me?

Stop fighting and vote ME to become the next Prime Minister

Like I previously mentioned in my post, "Politics, Schmolitics"

Stop fighting and start acting. Malaysia is no where near Canada, Japan, US, UK or other big hot shot countries. But of course, we are ahead of other countries like Indonesia, Iraq, Afghanistan and all that.
Why should we compare?

If I was to become the next PM (dream on Elena... dream on..)
What would the changes be?

1) Immediately I would give all the poor people 10k to help them build a better life
2) I would build apartments for these people so that they too can live a modern life
3) Next to the apartment are shoplots and offices so that they can work and earn money to have a stable life
4) I want to build more shelter for the poor stray animals. Free weekly grooming and yearly vaccinating available
5) More local schools will be built and a few more International schools to diversify the young generations' choice
6) Higher payment for teachers, lecturers..
7) Petrol prices shall remain RM2. Period.
8) More cheap vacation packages to Malaysia shall be available
9) Rebuild the hotels that are in poor condition
10) Fill the pot-holes on the road
11) More broadway theatres shall be available
12) Only top artists, singers, bands..whatever can come to Malaysia. The rest are a waste of money. So try harder for the rest..
13) More sports centres shall be available to the public.. yachting, skateboarding, jet skiing.. wow..
14) The price of text book shall be lowered by 20%
15) No demonstration allowed.. please leave your comments or queries in the comment box or hotline.
16) No drinking, no clubbing, smoking in public (like Australia.. bravo Australia!) and other negative stuff.. Too bad. I'm the PM!

17) What else does Malaysia want?

an interesting event

It's 3.30pm right now and I just got back from the Dior luncheon event at Modesto's at Tao. The foods served were scrumptious! I had lamb shank for the main course and they served tiramisu for dessert... I wonder whether they made it with alcohol? Cause I do feel a bit weird... Does alcohol consumption give you a headache?
Ok I'm not going to talk about the foods and the lunch. The interesting part about the event was that there were only a few people invited.. and well, i was very excited that of all people in NST, the PR invited me instead!
Of course, I felt like an outcast at first cause everyone was either an editor of a magazine or, a journalist over 10 years.. But nevertheless, they all included me in all of their conversations.

So here I'm going to talk about the interesting conversation that they all brought up..
The highlight of the day was about politics! How Anwar won double than Arif Shah. So they talked about how high his votes were than his wife and all that... Then the editor of Magazine World, Margaret, turned her head towards me and asked,
"Elena, since you're younger, what do you think about politics?"

Hah! Politics schmolitics! I wish I had said...

But I said, "I'm actually confused"

She agreed, and said "I'm confused too. I don't know who is telling the truth."
So the people who were following the conversation, gave a little nod to agree with it.

Just to do a bit of a rewind on other topics that were brought up, Margaret asked me why I chose to do a degree in Journalism.. "Do you like writing?"
I replied, "yes." I paused. "I did a diploma in Mass Communication and decided to do journalism right after." Then one of the PR for Christian Dior said "I did a degree in Journalism abroad as well."
Then they started to talk about the pay.. How journalist gets paid very little. (True *shrugs*)
And the PR said "My lecturer used to tell me that! If you're thinking of getting a high pay. Leave now."
When they mentioned about that, I didn't say a word. Cause I'm not even done with my degree yet.. But they don't know that... I kind of told them that I've just graduated. I had to do that to certain events cause I don't want them to feel that NST sent someone who's merely a journalist. So yeah, I'm going to have to repent for this sin.

Oh Margaret gave me her card and told me to ask my friends who wants to work with her. Not as a journalist though. Managing the company and all that... Sounds interesting... I wonder how much will they pay?

Becoming a journalist is all about passion for writing and not to expect high pay. Remember Elena! Remember! D'oh!

The BIG day is here

Aug 26 marks a big day for BN and their opposition, PKR. The voting session in Permatang Pauh is scheduled to commence at 8am and end at 5pm. Now it's 5.30pm, I'm sure those who are in charge of counting the votes, are busy doing what they have to do..
Who will win? I ask myself.
To be honest, I don't support anyone. Should I? Indeed I should but since the mainstream newspaper and the opposition newspaper are disseminating their side of a certain story, I refuse to choose sides.
It's confusing for goodness sake!
I read Harakah during the weekend. Yes Harakah. My dad is the type of person who buys all sorts of newspaper when he doesn't play golf during the weekend. For the first time, I managed to flip through the whole paper. What is published in Berita Harian and New Straits Times, is written oppositely in the paper. For instance, the swearing on the Quran. I was first convinced that the sodomy thingy is true because of Saiful taking an oath in the mosque. A mufti (or was it Imam?) said that the swearing was wrong... then another said it was right. Harakah published articles on the event and said that it was wrong. Another article, on the claim who wins during the election. BN and PKR candidates are both confident in winning. You know what? I think that PKR wins... I mean.. actually I'm comfortable with BN ruling the country and all.. but the claims on the guy becoming the PM on Sept 16, I think is true.....
Well actually, I like thinking negatively so that if it turns out that way, I wouldn't get too upset.

I hate politics to be honest.

So the result will be out at 9.30 or so... i wonder.... i wonder.... i have a couple of friends who are fanatics of PKR. I wonder why they believe that they can bring changes? I don't know anything.. if PKR wins and does change Malaysia into a better country, then Alhamdulillah... otherwise, keep it as it is. Malaysia has improved a lot compared to previous years and other countries. We are just a little land but this little land has developed more than countries twice the size.

All the best to whoever who wins. Hope it does give great changes to our country and not otherwise.

a month to go

Today is August 27... In a month I'll be leaving the NST - Life & Times desk. The past 3 month has been a wonderful experience for me. I had a negative perception towards it before I started. I always thought that internship - honestly, sucks. That was BEFORE. Before I stepped into the L&T world. Now I'm loving it so much that I'm wishing that I can ask for an extend... I want to work... I want to write... I just love it! It's rather unfair for the 'old syllabus' students have to do their practical training during the 5th semester while the new ones get to do during their last semester. I often hear that they get to work there permenantly right after the internship. How about me and the rest 'oldies'? We have to study for another semester and reapply for work. By then, would the newspaper industry remember us? Yes, maybe... but then again, we have to reapply again. Darn..

The positive thing about this though is that I can think thoroughly what I want to be. I wanted to be SO MANY things eversince I was little. Perhaps everything! I'll list down just a few top ones..
1) archaeologist 2) scientist 3) gymnastic coach (yeah..) 4) even wanita UMNO (i don't know how that came up) 5) english teacher 6) kindergarten teacher 7) businesswoman.... and the list goes on and on up to university. The latest are : 1) Diplomat/Ambassador 2) Lecturer 3) Journalist (specifically: Life & Times). No wonder my dad used to call me "hangat-hangat tahi ayam"..

The clock indicates that it is 5.30pm. In half an hour, I can leave back home. My editor has been very busy this whole week. The other journalists are working their head's off on the Merdeka section. I was asked to give out ideas as well.. but I couldn't think of any during the meeting. But of course, interns didn't have to be involve in it so I chose not to and gave some space to the experts. I definitely admire my editor. She's.... actually it's hard to describe her character but she's kind. If I do minor screw-ups in my writings such as not elaborating enough on a particular thing, she would call me very nicely and speak to me in a low and soft tone. She's not the kind of editor who yells and embarrasses you in front of the others. Sometimes, you can't even hear her speak to other journalists when she calls them for correction although she sits just behind me. She's gone for a meeting by the way, that explains me babbling nonsense in this blog.

Oh wait... the other L&T journalists are all gone. I think they've gone off home. Hmm...shall I make a move? Besides, I've finished writing the 2 articles that I was supposed to pass up next week. Maybe in another 10 minutes...

Oh, the airconditioning is off by the way. For the first time, it went off just a few minutes ago. There was a fire alarm (not a loud one though) and me and a new journalist from 3 rows in front of me exchanged glances and quizzed on the alarm. Kindly, Santha - the editor for the political features, explained to me that after the alarm, there will be a large sound (like the sound of a fan) and followed by the off-ing of the aircond.

I'm going to go read dailymail.co.uk a bit more and go back home.. I was asked to enterntain a step cousin of mine from London. I promised her yesterday over BBQ that I would bring her out tonight.. she hasn't watched batman so maybe i'll just bring her for that. The only show that is available though is at 12.30am... damn. But nevermind... :-)

High School Musical: Ice Tour

What can I say about the HSM: Ice Tour besides SPECTACULAR?

I managed to go watch the show as I was asked by the entertainment editor to cover the event. It wasn't my job at first. She gave it to my friend, Umie who was more under her during our internship but due to Umie receiving 2 free tickets to watch the show when she covered the pre-publicity for the tour, she told the editor that she already has the tickets and told her to give it to me. Of course I was DYING to watch the show at the time. When I saw the editor holding the fax which had the logo of the ice tour, i kind of made an obvious shriek. I was so excited! I wanted to watch it so bad but my sister didn't purchase the tickets early so the CIMB offer ended so we end up not buying any.

So as I reached there, I had to register early for the media pass. It got me all pumped up even more when they gave me this musical programme book. If you flip the first page, you'll hear one of the HSM song and of course they have wonderful pictures of the movie and the skaters as well. The price of the book is actually RM45 but they gave it for free! Lucky! And another, I got the HSM media tag. Of course it is just printed out and laminated. But the main thing is that it showed that I was there! Teehee. Gosh I sound so pathetic and childish (but who cares!).
After I registered, I went into the stadium and the organizer opened quite a number of stalls selling HSM merchandises. "Crap! I only have RM50" I told myself. I looked at the stuff from afar.. scanning through them to see the cheapest prices. Then I saw the lanyard which cost RM20. "Hmm.. shall I or shall I not buy it?" my heart whispered again. They had this rather funky diary which cost RM40. I wanted it but I would be left with RM10 to go back home and who knows what would happen on the way back? So I backed away.

The show went on for 90minutes. Of course there was one break to change the scene from HSM 1 to HSM 2. All of the skaters were world-class skaters and I must say, they were good actors/actesses as well! They perfectly 'sang' and acted in every scene of the HSM and of course, they skated away gracefully that wowed the crowd.

During every song, you could here children and of course some adults singing-a-long to the songs. I definitely sang some of the songs. I was craving to sing all of them but since i was there alone, i felt like a fool singing alone. Of course there were other medias who sat a seat away from me. Some were in front.. some were at the back.. they weren't singing. They were busy snapping pictures.

Ok ok about the show, i will give you just some insights as the show ends on the August 20 so you have much time to go purchase the tickets.. So the show featured songs such as "Breaking Free", "Stick to the status quo", "You're the music in me" (my fave! *Shriek!*), "We're all in this together" and the list goes on and on.. The show is no different than the movie itself. It features similar scenes.. such as for the HSM 1, you still can witness the Wild Cats in action in the basketball court, the audition scene.. for HSM 2, you have the Evan's club scene, the kitchen.. of course there are cool surprises that awaits for the audience! I love their wardrobe.. similar! :-D

Right after the show ended, I headed to the stall to purchase the lanyard that i was eyeing earlier.. there were so many kids and mothers trying to purchase the goodies. I did wait for a few minutes but since the crowd grew bigger (although they have many stalls that sell the same thing), I decided to leave and give the kiddies a chance to buy them.


P/S: High School Musical is not just for kids. Disney rocks!

whatever

It's 12.05pm right now and i'm at work. I have quite a number of articles to write but my mood is not supporting me to finish them up. So what do I want to do instead? Blab in this blog. I'm quite surprised that I've already posted 3 blogs. Yes they are gibberish but heck, i managed to keep them flowing as i have a history of posting a few blogs in numerous blog accounts and leaving them to collect the dust. The blogs are (to name a few) diaryland, blog (i think), friendster's blog, myspace's blog, wordpress...etc. I love writing by the way, hence my degree in Journalism and internship at New Straits Times but it's just that writing features must be under a good and 'flowery' mood. Why flowery? Cause you need to write it to really grab the reader's attention. They are not like the other news where you have to attract them with the 5 w's & 1 h. Features are something different.. you can start up with quotes.. or questions.. Before i decided to post this blog, i was writing an article on lacquered butterfly clips by Van Cleef & Arpels. The assignment was a week ago (or perhaps was it more?) but due to my piled assignments that i decided to delay, i ended up having tons! I listed them down and gosh I have 10.
Luckily features are not needed pronto! The first few months I did everything in fast pace. I was still fresh in ideas but now it's my 3rd month, my brain is not functioning well.. it's going about 10km/h. Crap..

Ok Min is scheduled to fly off to Sabah at 3pm. I think he'll be going to the airport anytime soon. The positive thing that i like that he's going is that it'll be his first time going on the plane. I'm happy for him. If we get married (inshaAllah..), i'm going to invite him to go to Hong Kong. Why Hong Kong? I've been living there for 2 years ('96-'98) and besides finding the place very fascinating, it was the place my mother passed away. So i've been itching and dying to go back there just to walk around and see the old places that my late mother brought me. My old school, shopping malls, apartment.. everything and anything to remind me back of my mother. :) And of course, i didn't get the chance to go to Hong Kong's disneyland. When I was there, i think they were just about to plan it.. damn.

Uh oh.. my stomach is growling and i'm fasting. Steady stomach...steady... i had a stomach ache and a very bad wind this morning. I almost didn't want to go to work and wanted to break fast but since Ramadhan is just around the corner and i have a couple of days to 'make up' the puasa that i missed, i have to put down my feet and say "No to break fast. Not until 7.30pm."

Occay, back to work before i get caught doing something else! Hehe.

anything

Another half an hour i'm leaving back home.. my stomach is growling badly but i have to ignore it.. as i am fasting. I'm 'making up' for the several days that i did not fast during Ramadhan (it's a girl thing). I did make up yesterday.. but since i only ate during the break fast the previous day, i couldn't stand but to break fast at 1pm. I should've stood firm and ignore my hungerness but the growling was bad so i ate char kuey teow. One of my friends were surprised that i ate and said (translated) "you have to fast an additional day to make up for it". I didn't know that I had to do extra.. but oh well, i am going to fast another 10 days just to make up any other days that i missed.

Tomorrow Min (my bf) will be flying off to Sabah under his production house. He's helping out with the tv programme called Mistik. A true ghostly event where they go and shoot people who are being treated Islamically to remove ghosts and under black magic stuff. When I was young, I believed the existance of ghosts but never realised that someone close to me would die of black magic years later. Eversince, I grew interest on the topic.. When people say that they don't believe that ghosts exists, I would always talk about the tragedy that occurred to a member of my family years back that caused her death. (May she rest in peace and placed among all the good people).
Anyway, he's going there for 10 days.. yes 10 days.. some may think 10 days may not be long but if you're in my place, then you'll realize that it feels like a lifetime. Everyday my agenda is always with him. It's either we go out for dinner.. or to the movies.. shopping.. sometimes he comes over to my house and play with my little brother Eshan. The 4 year old boy is very cheeky! And he definitely loves Min. Yesterday my sister and I asked him who he loves... and he answered "abang min". My sister narrowed down the question and said "just girls". It did took him quite sometime to choose either me or my sister. First he said me then my sister.. Haha. But after being shy about the question, he then replied "dua dua.." (both). Good boy. Oh by the way, Eshan is hooked up with his new playstation. Yes a 4 year old boy who already has his own playstation. It's ps2 by the way. My dad didn't buy him ps3 as my brother already has it but in my own opinion, ps2 is much 'friendlier' to use for kids like him. Eversince he got the playstation, he's been playing the Indiana Jones and Star Wars lego game. I did enjoy playing Indiana Jones but just during the first week.. after that I grew bored. Star Wars is much boring as I hardly follow star wars. I'm not so into sci-fi movies. Most of his time is spent playing playstation. He refuses to go to school or even shops (except toys r us) the first few weeks. Then gradually he went back to school and followed us out. But of course, he still wails if nobody wants to play the game with him. Both games needs 2 players. So yeah, almost everyday he cries..
My little cute baby brother :-)

I wish someone would understand..

I wish that someone can read my mind.. and hold me tight and tell me that "I know what you're going through...".
It's not easy to live a life knowing that you cannot turn back the clock and hug and kiss your mum and tell her that you love her. Slowly I'm forgetting what it feels like holding her hand when crossing the road in Hong Kong.. I can't remember how it feels like touching her cheeks..
Every night I pray to God to grant me just one wish. Just one. That I can dream about her. Not those lousy dreams that you go for a holiday with your mum or anything. One that she really comes to visit me and tell me to be strong.
I miss her touch.. I miss her cook.. I miss her advices... I miss her love... I miss a mother's love...
I am jealous for those who gets to hug and kiss their mother...
I am disgusted for those who treats their mother like shit..

I wish I could sell my soul to bring back my mother. Just anything to have a glimpse of her... Anything...

The haunting past

It has been 10 years since I last saw her.. yes 10 years..
10 years of not seeing my mama...
10 years of trying to accept the fact that she passed away..
10 years of trying to stop thinking about her when I'm alone..
10 years of trying to move on..
10 years of trying to be the best daughter although she is not here to see me..

It's insane that everyday feels like 'yesterday'.
No one knows how hard i'm trying to cope with this..